Wedding Rehearsal Dinner: Whether, And How, To Plan It

Planning a wedding rehearsal dinner is one of the more confusing requirements of wedding planning for many wedding couples. A few questions that arise, and often remain unanswered are:

* Is a rehearsal dinner really necessary?
* What happens at the rehearsal dinner?
* Who pays for the rehearsal dinner?
* Who should be invited to the rehearsal dinner?

Fun With Friends And Family

If you're inundated with planning details of your wedding, the rehearsal dinner may seem at first glance to be just another expense, or one more task to be completed. You won't be visited by the etiquette police if you choose to bypass a rehearsal dinner, but you may want to take a closer look before rejecting it.

This is a very special opportunity to get together with family and close friends for a night of relaxation in a casual atmosphere before the wedding. This article is intended to answer some of the above questions, and to provide the couple with some useful information for planning a successful rehearsal dinner. 

Thank Your Guests For Support

The rehearsal dinner is your opportunity to thank your friends and family for their participation and assistance in planning the wedding. This is also a chance to relax and unwind together before the big event. The rehearsal dinner is, by tradition, the time for the couple to put aside their concerns about their upcoming nuptials, and just enjoy time with family and friends. Although the rehearsal dinner has become a tradition in weddings, the couple is not obligated to host a rehearsal dinner if they choose not to do so. 

First, The Wedding Rehearsal

The wedding rehearsal is the event that precedes the rehearsal dinner. The bride and groom and others who have roles in the wedding will meet at the wedding site to run through the logistics of the ceremony.  From there, everyone gathers at a pre-selected restaurant, catering hall or perhaps a friend's home, to enjoy a meal together. At some time during the meal the couple usually takes a few moments to thank all their guests for their loving support. Some couples choose to honor their wedding party with gifts at this time.

Toasts To Friends And Family

Tradition calls for a series of informal toasts at the rehearsal dinner. The parents of the couple will usually thank the guests and offer a toast to the couple. Any of the guests at the rehearsal dinner may also offer a toast, share a few words of wisdom, or add a note of hilarity to the proceedings. Unlike the wedding, which is shrouded in traditions and expectations, the rehearsal dinner is a relaxed affair with no set agenda.

Who Foots The Bill?

Another area of confusion is the subject of who pays for the rehearsal dinner. Tradition assigns the financial responsibility to the parents of the groom. However, more and more couples are choosing to pay for the rehearsal dinner themselves. A number of factors are contributing to this changing trend, including the rising average age of people getting married today.

Couples who marry at a later age are typically better established financially, and capable of affording the cost of the rehearsal dinner. In addition, the responsibility of paying for the rehearsal dinner usually goes together with the responsibility of planning it, and many couples are unwilling to relinquish the planning responsibilities. The bride and groom often want to ensure that the rehearsal dinner reflects their personalities and tastes; therefore, they assume all responsibility for planning the rehearsal dinner.

Who Is Invited?

The rehearsal dinner was originally intended for those who are actively involved in the ceremony; however, the couple may invite any other guests they choose to join them. Out-of-town guests are often included in the rehearsal dinner as a way to thank them for making the trip to be with them on their wedding day. The inclusion of out-of-town guests is a wonderful gesture, but not an obligation. If it would be financially burdensome to include all of the out-of-town guests, the couple could consider hosting a smaller event, such as an evening of drinks and appetizers, for this larger group. All those actually participating in the ceremony should be included in the rehearsal dinner, but the guest list need not be restricted to these individuals, and the couple can choose to include anyone they wish. 

Worth The Effort And Expense

The prospect of planning a rehearsal dinner may seem overwhelming, with the rules not clearly defined. But it is this flexibility that makes planning a rehearsal dinner such a fun challenge. From the invitation list to the activities, there is no obligation to adhere to any formalities in planning the rehearsal dinner. Here is a chance to exercise your creativity and have everything your own way. Although not obligatory, many couples opt to host a rehearsal dinner because it is such a wonderful opportunity to thank their loved ones for their continued support.